Point of View
Stories are usually written in either first, second, or third person, as follows:
First Person: “My alarm went off, waking me as I lay in the arms of the most beautiful woman with whom I had ever had the pleasure of spending a night…” In first person stories, the main character describes events as they are happening to him/her. Insight is only given into the mind of the main character, and the reader only knows what the main character knows.
Second Person: “As the alarm goes off, you slowly wake up in the arms of the most beautiful woman with whom you had ever had the pleasure of spending a night…” In second person stories, “you” the reader are the main character, where the story “interacts” with you.
Third Person: “As Joe slowly woke to the sound of the alarm clock going off, he took great comfort in realizing he was in the arms of the most beautiful woman with whom he had ever had the pleasure of spending a night…” In third person stories, the writer describes the story as an unseen observer. Insight into the minds of most or all the characters is usually given.
Subject: Children’s Science exam.
This was sent to me from a friend…
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Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts — the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does ‘varicose’ mean? (I do love this one…)
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarian Section.’
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word ‘benign’ mean?’
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
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After reading it I am struck with the following realization: God Damn our kids are dumb asses!
My experience with Jafrum
Where to start.
Okay, there are 2 (two) adages one should always remember when buying online: Caveat Emptor (Let the Buyer beware) and You get what you pay for.
That being said let me tell you about my purchase. I bought chaps, a jacket, 2 rain suits a leather face cover, leather gloves, and two sets of boot covers. None of them were very expensive, with the jacket being the most expensive at $49.95 US.
The Rain Suits cost $34.95 US each, and were well worth it. I would expect to pay upwards of $35 for them. Besides a leaky pocket they are nice. And worth what I paid.
The Face Mask was inexpensive and does the job fine… but it hooks in such a way that it slides down if not secured in some fashion. For the money, it is fine. I will rework it so it does what it is supposed to.
The Boot Covers are large rubber things that look for all the world like Prophylactics for the boots. Putting them on should prove great fun! (can you hear the sarcasm?)
Now the Jacket and Chaps… wow! First off there is the fact that following their size chart has resulted in them being too large. Then there is the mismatched leathers on each item: one section is a good grade with nice surface, the opposing looks like the poor critter had a skin condition that lead to it’s suicide. The snaps on the jacket were rusty, and one popped off… just after the zippers fell apart, teeth fell out on one and the pull was soft on the other.
I know these things were cheap, but their website only lists positive reviews. In fact they offed me a $5 check to give them a positive review here. Hey, any company willing to bribe me to lie about their product can’t be all bad, can they? um… maybe.
But, Jafrum isn’t all bad. They do offer rock bottom prices, and you do get what you pay for. But, if you are not a leather worker like I am I would suggest you don’t buy them… go to a shop where you can look over the product. It is safer.
Rules to wonder on…
1. Indecision is the Key to Flexibility.
2. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
3. Everything should be made simple as possible, but no simpler.
4. If you think there is good in everybody, then you haven’t met everybody.
5. If you smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
6. Not one shed of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
7. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
8. The trouble with life is,Your halfway through it before you realize “It’s a do-it-yourself” Thing.
